On my own couch is where I'll be during Super Bowl 53.

They say you never forget your first love. Well my first love was football. From playing in the backyard to the practice field of a Division II school, I've always loved this game. It's the only sport where I can watch ANY football game. I have my favorite team (Vikings) but I can watch a Texans versus Browns game and be just as invested. I wouldn't even care who wins as longs as it's a good game. I can't do that with any other sport.

It wasn't till around college where people started inviting me to Super Bowl parties and for true football fans, it's not fun. There is one reason (and one reason only) to have a Super Bowl party.... to watch the biggest football game of the year.

My hatred for Super Bowl parties started when watching people at the party talk during the game and then sush people when the commercials started. There's no other televised event all year where something so preposterous happens.

There are certain phrases that will be said at a Super Bowl party this year that is the reason I won't be there.

"I'm only here for the commercials and Maroon 5." (Well you sure aren't adding anything entertaining between those either.)

"How much do you think that commercial costs?" (A lot... it's the Super Bowl.)

"What does (insert simplistic football reference here) mean?" (It means there's another TV upstairs. *Copyright John Caparulo*)

There is SUCH an advantage to staying home for the Super Bowl!

I'll start with hours before the game starts... You go to the grocery store and get WHATEVER YOU WANT! You're like king walking up and down the isle picking out whatever you are going to enjoy during the game.

It's YOUR spot. On the couch, in the recliner, whatever is considered the "the good chair" is your throne throughout the whole game. You don't have to worry about someone seat-jacking you during a 4 hour game.

It's YOUR TV. This is an obvious one but if you don't like your own TV then it's just time to upgrade. It comes with all the amenities... rewind the game if you want to see a play over, the sound is at whatever level you want, mute the commercials if you want.

It's YOUR bathroom. No elaboration needed. Do what you gotta do.

If you are a true football fan, it makes no sense that you'd be anywhere but your own place for the biggest game of the year.